It all started with the onset of pregnancy. Along with it, came the power of super-smell. I could smell anything from a mile away. I could smell things in my coworker’s trash from 25 feet away. I could smell cigarette smoke from a person walking 50 feet ahead of me on the street. And heaven forbid my husband try to cook breakfast. During my first trimester, he was on a high protein kick and making egg whites for breakfast almost every morning. As I woke up, I would quickly and silently dash for the door to take the dog for a walk, all while holding my breath, so as not to discourage his healthy habits. There were many mornings where I nearly didn’t make it out the door without hurling. And let me just tell you…NYC is NOT a fun place to be when you have the power of super-smell. I won’t go into detail, but anyone who has been here knows what I am talking about.
Once the little bundle of joy arrived, I was blessed with the power of super-hearing. This is a doozey! I’m not talking about a slight increase in my ability to hear with respect to the noises my child makes. I hear everything! I hear it sooner and louder than anyone around me. If my son is asleep, I hear his breathing change over the monitor the moment he wakes up. I know he is awake before he knows it himself. If my husband steps on a creak in the floor outside our son’s room while the boy is asleep, I can hear it from outside the house…and I cringe. I cringe at just about every noise I hear when the baby is asleep. Every little noise sounds like someone is shaking a can full of pennies next to my ear. It is loud. It is stressful. It is unbearable at times. My poor husband has endured me asking him to turn the TV down night after night after night. He sees my cringe with every step he makes, paralyzed by the fear that he will wake the baby. If the dog walks outside the baby’s room, her toenails clacking on the wood floor sound like golf ball-sized hail on a car roof to me. Each night, when I step out of the baby’s room after getting him to sleep, our little cat, Linus, is waiting eagerly for my attention. Inevitably, he lets out a loud “MEOW” that I am sure will wake the baby. It never does. Yet every night, I shudder at the sound. Anyone seeing me walk through our house would think I was walking through a mine field with the way I leap, stretch, lunge, and balance to avoid all of the creaky spots in the floor. It’s rather ridiculous. But alas, I have the power of super-hearing, and those creaks are as loud as an 18-wheeler’s Jake brake to me. How can everyone else not hear these things? It must be my super power at play.
I have also been given the ability to walk for infinite periods of time. I can walk, with a 20 pound baby strapped to me, for hours on end if necessary. I can go on for miles and miles if it means that the baby will calm down, go to sleep, stop crying, or whatever else I need him to do. I can also push a stroller up just about any grade incline without question, and I can carry it up a limitless number of stairs if needed, all with the 20 pound baby and his diaper bag in tow.
The last of the mom super powers that I have been blessed with (at least for now), is the ability to do just about anything one handed. I can brush my teeth, do my hair, feed the dog, prepare dinner, walk the dog, vacuum the house, pet the cats, shop for groceries, type (including important memos for work), operate my iPhone, pack a bag, run the laundry…the list goes on…all one handed! It’s a rather amazing power, and I think you should be impressed by it. I know I am.
I can’t help but wonder what super powers other mothers have been given, or what other super powers I will be given as my son grows. It’s pretty cool to know that you have super powers.