A few months ago, I had the brilliant idea that I should write a book. Fast forward to today, and I have realized that it’s simply not in the cards right now. Yes, I feel like I have a lot to say (whether others are interested in hearing it or not). But I also have an incredible amount to do. As a full-time working mother, I simply don’t have the time or energy to write a book right now. However, I do have the time to blog! And so, my brilliant idea for a book will be transformed into a series of blog posts. The book idea, in a nutshell, was “Motherhood — The Shit No One Ever Tells You.” I intended to interview mothers of all ages, with children of all ages. So I reached out to all of the moms I know and asked if they would be willing to participate. Many responded that they would, so I promptly barraged them with a load of questions to get my creative juices flowing. The result was that I have a few pieces of writing already put together, and many more in my mind that will be written in the coming days, weeks, months, and perhaps years. So if you’re interested, stay tuned. Below is the introduction I wrote for the book, transformed to be a blog post instead…
From the moment my husband and I began trying to conceive, it was immediately apparent that there are things about motherhood that no one ever tells you. We were lucky. We decided to start trying, and 4 weeks later I was pregnant! Lesson number one came the morning I took my at home pregnancy test and saw a faint but definite second line on that stick.
I had slept on the couch that night because I had a head cold (or so I thought – more on that in a later post), and didn’t want to wake my husband with my sniffling and sneezing. It was a Sunday at 6 am. My husband took the dog out, and I thought ‘what he hell…I’ll pee on a stick just for fun.’. I couldn’t believe it when that line appeared! My husband came in, and I calmly said “so, I think I’m pregnant.”. His response? “The damn dog won’t stop sniffing yellow snow.” He hadn’t heard what I said. So I repeated it. “I think I’m pregnant.”. This time, he responded, “uh, ok.” I explained that I wasn’t sure because the line was so light, and he suggested waiting until the following weekend to retest. Now, any woman who has tried to get pregnant can tell you that waiting is not an option. The eagerness to know if there is a life growing inside you is more pressing than just about anything else going on in your life. So I informed him I’d be taking a digital test the following morning.
Fast forward to that Monday and a digital pregnancy test with the word “pregnant” as clear as day. I quickly went to the kitchen to share my exciting news. My husband’s response? “Ok.” followed by a quick kiss on the cheek and a prompt return to making his breakfast. Utterly confused, I went about my morning routine, showered, and went to work. The lesson: men sometimes react very differently to pregnancy, and parenthood generally, than women do. He did eventually become as excited as I was about the impending addition to our family. It just took him a little longer to let the idea sink in.
From pregnancy to labor, breastfeeding to balancing work and motherhood, every step of the way has been a minefield of tidbits of information I wish mothers who went before me had shared. The goal of this blog series is to share all of that information with mothers new and old, expecting or trying to conceive, and to open the pathways of communication among all women.
I have found that there are many things about motherhood that woman simply don’t talk about. But I have also found that when approached and invited, most mothers are eager to talk about their experiences. I have interviewed, and will continue to interview a lot mothers over the course of writing this series. Without their willingness to speak candidly, this series would not be possible. I encourage mothers (and all women) everywhere to speak openly about their experiences with motherhood, and to foster a supportive, honest dialogue about motherhood, and the shit no one ever tells you.
So keep your eyes out for future blog posts with the title “From the Mouths of Moms.” And if you’re a mom who wants to share her experiences with me, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Anyone who wishes to remain anonymous but wants an outlet is more than welcome. I look forward to sharing my own experiences along with those of moms from all walks of life as this series progresses.